Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
