I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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