Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
