im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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