If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
