he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
someone owes me an orgasm
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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