The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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