Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
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Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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