She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
