This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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