One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
