I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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