Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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