i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You are a genius and a whore.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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