I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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