I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm passing your future prison.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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