so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
