i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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