What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
