Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
