Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
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I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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