You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
