should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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