Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
