Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
