I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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