Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize