sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
