If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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