Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
