Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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