Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize