VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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