Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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