i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
