Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Boobs are out for the taking
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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