Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize