you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
