Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
