and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
