I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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