I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
