i just wanna soil my oats bro
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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