It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
