He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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