the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
