My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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