Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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