not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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