Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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