if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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