I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
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oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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