Don't make out with my wife yet
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
