I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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