you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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