No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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