It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
