Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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