Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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