also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
