Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
