Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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