she was so not down for the gang bang
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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