Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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